The Weekly for 11/17

- Self-Proclaimed Jedi Knights Want UN to Recognize Their Faith. "Umada and Yunyun, also known as John Wilkinson and Charlotte Law, want the UN to acknowledge Jedi is worthy of being called a religion. It comes after 400,000 people recorded it as their faith in the 2001 Census." Someone should cross-reference that number with the number of recorded smartasses in the 2001 Census. Might clear some things up.

- Continuing the theme, Wil Wheaton's Star Wars Geek in Review. And some extra bits on his website. Good points about the general suckiness of the new episodes, and how Lucas managed to take actors ranging from decent to excellent and trap them into delivering virtually worthless performances. However, where Wil is completely mystified about the choice of Hayden Christensen as Anakin, I am able to use my patented geek girl powers and find something that makes sense about it. And that is simply: Evil Hayden = Hot. I think we female Star Wars fans deserve that much, especially after all the fuss the guys have made over Natalie Portman from day one.

- As previously mentioned, I enjoy David Lynch thoroughly. The fact that last week he appeared on a Hollywood street corner with a billboard and a cow is a good example why.

- Polish Exchange Student in US: My Half-Year of Hell with Christian Fundamentalists. I would just like to point out that, during my last year of college, when I took the brand-new British exchange student under my wing, I took her to a goth concert in Pittsburgh, in which a band member was so drunk he ended up cutting a vein in his hand and not realizing how bad it was until there was blood all over the stage, and then the very next night to her first fraternity party. What a kickass ambassador am I.

- Cartoon Room. Awesome. The only thing it still needs is an Acme catalog on the nightstand.

- Wow. It started as simple snarky story about Nickelback and the OSU/Michigan game. They wanted tickets. They aren't important enough to get them. Boo hoo. Reading down through the approximate half mile of comments, however, one sees that the conversation veers off not only into completely appropriate Nickelback-bashing, but time-warp Beatles discussion, the evils of Canada, and a play-by-play description of the latest Degrassi episodes. WTF indeed.

- So while I'm not the biggest football fan in the world (or at all, as it turns out), it's pretty hard to work on the OSU campus and not care at least a bit about the big game. I happen to have better things to do Saturday than actually watch the game, such as take my daughter to get her Christmas portraits taken, do some website coding, and reduce Lego stormtroopers to a pile of, well, Legos - but go Bucks, anyway.

Hey, Is There a Football Game or Something This Weekend?

Excerpt from the daily OSU newsletter:

OSU ENCOURAGING STUDENTS TO SAFELY ENJOY MICHIGAN WEEKEND
As the university celebrates Michigan Week through Friday (11/17), faculty are asked to share their expertise in teaching and building relationships with students by taking five minutes at the beginning of classes to encourage smart behavior on game day, Saturday (11/18). Student Wellness will provide Party Smart handbooks for your students or a complimentary bottle of water with the Party Smart Web site displayed to encourage students to visit the site.

Translation: DON'T FUCKING BURN SHIT, OKAY?

It's not like I'm any stranger to football fanaticism. I was born and raised in Ohio - not only have I endured Buckeye fandom my whole life, I also attended both a high school and college known far and wide for championship titles, generally to the exclusion of all else. I grew up smack in the middle of the phenomenon of the Cleveland Browns/Pittsburgh Steelers rivalry. I'm well acquainted with the notion of football being akin to religion, and demanding similar devotion.

And, still, somehow, I was not prepared for Columbus, Ohio. You people are insane. You set fire to innocent couches and trash bins. You start riots upon either a winning or losing outcome. You have bands whose entire shtick is pro-OSU, anti-Michigan music, whose members also regularly refer to the "liberal Wolverine media." You're almost as crazy as the rest of the world's football/soccer fans.

All of which, in all honesty, I can overlook with ease, even fondness. Everyone's got his or her thing. I, for example, am currently filled with glee at the new Lego Star Wars video game. (Yes, glee. Not exactly arson-inspiring glee, but glee nonetheless.) My point being, of course, who am I to judge?

In the spirit of observation, however, I have been wondering what would happen if we could channel all of this football-related passion and energy into some sort of humanitarian endeavor. I bet Columbus, Ohio could single-handedly save the Darfur region. They would march in there, pummel whomever is doing wrong (we maybe could mark said wrongdoers with blue and yellow, just to facilitate matters), and make sure everyone else gets his or her very own necklace strung with buckeyes and red and white beads. It would be an amazing thing. Think about it, Columbus. You could all be superheroes.

I'm beginning to think it's my destiny to be surrounded by football. I'm going to have to move to ... some country that, while industrialized, doesn't have popular organized sports. I can't think of one right now, but I'm sure there's one out there. Isn't there? If not, then I'll just take one without sports-related couch fires. That's good enough for me.

The Weekly for 11/9

One day early, both because I didn't post one last week, and because I'm off work tomorrow and will be too busy frolicking on sandy beaches to post. Well, maybe not sandy beaches, but it's 60 degrees and sunny in an Ohio November, so I guess I'll content myself with that.

- So. The election. In a practical sense, I'm reasonably pleased with the statewide candidate results (i.e., it's better than the same old Republicans). I'm also reasonably disgusted with the issue results. There's a certain irony in the fact that Ohio turned out the third most successful libertarian gubernatorial result in the entire country, but struck down the major issues that involved a return to individual rights and responsibilities sans government regulation. Which just happens to be the heart of libertarianism. How does that work out?

- In Politicians with Fun Names news, however, I would like to report that Zack Space emerged victorious. As did Kevin Bacon.

- I realize now how long it's been since I posted a Weekly when I have a Halloween link ... but, no matter how long it's been, there's no way I can pass up mentioning the wit and wisdom of Danzig. Bonus - he answers the eternal, much-pondered question, "Who would win in a fight - you or Henry Rollins?"

- Speaking of rock 'n' roll wit and wisdom - I give you Gene Simmons.

- I know I'm not hardcore-gamer enough to try for the Miss Video Game title ... but it's an awesome idea. If you've got more skills than yours truly, I urge you to go for it. And take me to the beach with you if you win.

- Want to adopt a microbe? Who doesn't?

- The Nietzsche Family Circus. Because often depressing German philosophers make anything better. Especially lame cartoons.

- Sorry, Safari users, to include you in this, but ... I can't help posting it.

The Best of Columbus Craigslist

Craigslist, how I love thee. Over the years, you have connected me with great jobs, cheap stuff, and weird people. Not to mention the hours of reading entertainment. And although the official Best of Craigslist is priceless, my constant strolling through my own local CL, somewhat overlooked next to the bigger cities, has produced some worthy entries as well. So I present, the most recent best of Columbus Craigslist.

Get a piece of the rock...

Large limestone boulder big enough to prevent large trucks and semi-trucks from going where ever you don't want them. This is at the end of my driveway, placed there by the previous owner. It is about 40"x28"x36" and probably weighs about two tons.

It is waiting for my wife to crash the car into it.

You come and get it and haul it away- anytime is good [link]

Because many have been the times I've desperately needed a hunk of rock approximating the size of a small mountain and the first thing I thought of was, "Of course! I'll go look in the free section of CL and see if anyone is giving one away!"

To the man with the wicked hairstyle eyeing my crotch, who noticed I was staring at you, and then winked at me all in about 3 seconds as I was getting out of my car to go into Sam's club:

Hey.
I was the guy with shoulder length hair covering one eye, black and white scarf, hobo glove on the left hand with the skull ring, if you noticed.

I just wanted you to know...

What the hell? [link]

From the Missed Connections section, which practically amounts to an obsession to me. Seriously, it's better than reality TV.

Desperately seeking King Size mattress, boxsprings and frame.
You know how sometimes ya just need space to sleep......

Please no gross stains, or anything that the CSI crime lab might find interesting. [link]

It's also worth noting the title of the previous post is, "Please save my relationship!!!!"

In today's social climate, we're bombarded with facts, figures, statistics and logic. Where, I ask you, is the mystery? The wonderment? The success of such films as the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Harry Potter, and From Justin To Kelly says to me that we're all just aching to bring a touch of enigma into our worlds.

And friends, I can offer you just that.

What we have here is one Whirlpool Super Capacity 465 electric range, which worked admirably well - until the day it didn't. I, being the fairly poor cook that I am, thought the oven was just rejecting my offering of garlic Texas Toast - as well it should have. I have no business trying to prepare such a sumptuous feast. But the stove continued to give the cold shoulder to my far more gastronomically skilled boyfriend, and at that point I had to face the fact that our stove was permanently on strike.

Here's where the mystery comes in - is it the stove which is broken, or is it the electrical supply? Your guess is as good as mine. We'll know for sure on Thursday when our new stove arrives - but wouldn't you like to cash in on a possible steal ahead of time? Maybe stoves are easily fixed. I wouldn't know. Our landlord has no interest in finding out, and, as we're renting, I don't care enough to put any energy or money into this problem. I am not, however, above trying to profit mildly from it. Clearly.

So, bring the childlike innocence and wonder back into your life today! Buy this possibly broken stove! Maybe it'll work like a charm. It's fairly new (I believe the landlord said 4 years), and we didn't use it much. And it's clean! And I'll clean it again before you buy it! Just ... you know, get it out of my house. [link]

The only thing I wish is that there were more follow-ups on Craiglist. I'd love to know if this got picked up, and, if so, by whom and why.

you email me -- a word, a phrase, a sentence, a paragraph, a rant, a question, a quote -- and then i write a response inspired by your words. it's that easy. go ahead and try it. you know you want to. inlcude your name (or what you want me to call you) and your blog/website address if you want linked.

get creative!

check out the site (http://www.bombtheworld.blogspot.com/).

thanks for your help. [link]

I just think this is kind of interesting. Check it out.

Technorati tags: Craigslist

Election Day

In all seriousness, though - you have a voice. Use it.

Randomness for 11/1

Some bits of news, in no particular order:

» In case you were not aware, this week The Daily Show is filming right here in my new backyard. It's a great thing. And Comedy Central has the episodes online.

» I saw Scorsese's The Departed this past weekend. And it is brilliant. That's all I have to say about it. Although I'm seriously considering a second viewing, so I may have a fuller review later.

» Down the road from my office building is a hotel whose sign proclaims it is hosting a "Glass Problems Convention." I had an immediate mental image of a bunch of somber-faced business men and women being told, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a serious problem with this glass stuff. It breaks." I have a strong suspicion I'm the only one who thinks it's funny, though.

» Today begins National Novel Writing Month. I'm not quite as confident about my topic as I was a couple of weeks ago. But good luck to those of you who are taking on the challenge as well.

By the way - I'm still messing around with my website layout. The problem I'm having is that my taste is so far ahead of my skills, and so I'm constantly learning new things and trying to implement them, with varying degrees of success. Be patient. And you can always avoid the whole mess by subscribing to my RSS feed, or reading blog entries at MySpace or Facebook.